i know that it sounds dumb. but indeed, its really whats sorta happening.
as i grow older. i realised more. let them be good or bad...
my words, any idea of what are those that i meant and what are those that i dont?
hahaha..




i am going home soon.
tired...


p/s: kendo anyone?

TONG4, upon listening to some songs.
coz there's a radio at my work place.
(looks at Donna)
wtf, nostalgic NOT.
good day everyone.


PS: THE GREAT SG SALES IS HERE!
(FATHERS' DAY IS COMING TOO!!!!!)

i believe that each of us have our own lives, even fer siblings.
so it sounds funny and selfish that we actually force our thoughts to people and want them to do things our way.
abt easily influenced.
its abt the mind part, abt the mentality part.
your frds can teach you something bad, but its up to you who decide if you shld learn.




regarding rs. ice and joey.
i just want them to be happy.
happy, though a lil screwed, but yet know what theyre doing.
thats all it matters.
and lastly, they wont get hurt.
but if they wanna allow themselves to get hurt.
there's nth to do abt it too.




eg: ice likes this ger who he shldnt like and majority/I of us sorta disapproved.
but he really likes her and decided to go fer her. what can we/I do or say?
i gotta put we/I coz not only i did say sth to ice, rmbered joey did too?
but apparently, i got misunderstood.
SO.. i shall take the WHOLE blame to myself.
but know something, i know what i'm doing.
i didnt FORCE and BRAINWASH my frds.
if my frds are easily brainwashed by me.
they'll be towards the others..
and i think thats hard fer me to be their frds.
so, its either, youre out, or i get out.



if making someone happy is a sin, then i take it in my stride.

i dont know why, but today as a whole was pretty tiring fer me..
tmr gonna have a talk abt career.
i dont know.
and recently tons of things happened.
and i'm still alright.
not dead.
but i guessed that i'm not gonna be alive fer long too.
knocking off soon.
..

damn. i'm feeling way too weird.
at work now..

I WANNA TELL THE WHOLE WORLD THAT THIS GUY AND THIS GER JUST GOT TGT FER 2 MTHS PLUS AND I JUST GOTTA KNOW ABT IT~!!
wtf.
asked me if im angry or what?
what am i angry fer?
when you told me that i meant alot to you as a friend then, i didnt take into consideration.
if i were to.
you wouldnt even be talking to me.




fer once..
to some zz out there.
stop being ironic.

finally managed to catch the quote from my frd.
"love does not discriminate, it embraces"
we talked about it.
found it quite. uh.. forget it.





ytd was on leave last min. guessed that i was really tired.
i was only away fer a day, blardy hell so many things fer me to do today!
SO YES HERE AM I.
=D

I AM STUCK AT WORK.. =(

my frd and i were talkin about love.
"love does not discriminate" then sth sth that i've forgotten.
but dont they know that, love doesnt teach you to blame people?
doesnt teach you to make the other guilty?
and make your sorry seems so worthless.





dont look back.
coz i never will.
tried looking back.
but you'll never know how i feel deep down.
with myself.

crazy thoughts. cynical surroundings.
i'm surviving it all.
one big motivation in life.
i dont really treasure that person.
my actions somehow made him disrespect me alot. i dont know.
he's one big demanding and unreasonable arse.
but his words are in a way, made me think alot..
alot.




in another word, i do respect him, but i dont really show it out.

well. great minds do think alike.
enough said.




its really a fcking major turn off.
get it? dont, then leave it.
its interesting when people tell me that they wanna catch up with me someday. but in fact i dont even talk to them much?
favours.
i ask and i return.
but sometimes, sth i just cant put down and ask fer favours.
so i die alone.
yes, ALONE.

THE DONTS IN MY LIFE.

firstly, do not ask me questions that you cant answer if i were to ask the same.
secondly, do not regret what you wanted from me after i've given you.
so
much fer the respect, so much fer the decision.
thirdly, do not ask me what
i want.
dont gimme shit like seeking whatsoever compromise and expect me to
forget what has happened?
DONT msg me and expect me to reply, after which,
play stupid fcking MIA games with me.

DONT try me.
dont rake up the past and asked me if this is the way i show my graditute after doing so much fer me?
money wise, yes, but did i ever run away before?
..
i'm NOT ashamed to type it out here.
but apart from all these materalistic favours, have you done anything fer me?
im not saying that i need my frds to be there fer me mentally. after all i'm pretty used to settling all these shit alone.
dont gimme a stand and after which change your stand abt being neutral.
dont stand so firm fer only days and after which gimme crappy+shitty reasons fer your doings.
dont ask me what do i want my frds to do.
and lastly, dont ask me why things turned out to be like that?




i WASNT the one who started it, continued it or what.
i'm just reacting the way i should be.
and please.
dont compare yourself with my guys (if youre).
its very different.
very very different.




still dont get it? sit down, think back abt the words, the stand and the reasons.
theyre all ironic, pure ironic.
thats enough to screw yourself up.
i wondered if the brains went up too high and went to the milky way.

i've decided to be super vulgar.
its just a ripped off anyway.


Listen up, listen up!
Here we go
It's a fucked up world
A fucked up place
Everybody's judged by their fucked up face
Fucked up dreams
Fucked up life
A fucked up kid
With a fucked up knife
Fucked up moms
And fucked up dads
It's a fucked up a cop
With a fucked up badge
Fucked up job
With fucked up pay
And a fucked up boss
Is a fucked up pain
Fucked up press
And fucked up lies
Well, Lethal's in the back
With the fact of the fires


Ain't it a shame that you can't say "Fuck"
Fuck's just a word
And it's all fucked up
Like a fucked up punk
With a fucked up mouth
A nine inch nail
I'll get knocked the fuck out
Fucked up aids
From fucked up sex
Fake ass titties
On a fucked up chest
We're all fucked up
So whatcha wanna do?
We fucked up me
And fucked up you

You wanna fuck me like an animal
You'd like to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me

Ain't life a bitch?
A fucked up bitch
A fucked up sore with a fucked up stitch
A fucked up head
Is a fucked up shame
Swinging on my nuts
Is a fucked up game
Jealousy filling up a fucked up mind
It's real fucked up
Like a fucked up crime
If I say "Fuck", two more times
That's forty six "Fucks" in this fucked up rhyme

YAY!
mentally detached, since when am i not?
always empty.
no big deal.

and the feelings surging.
thoughts lingering.
ironic actions.
i got caught in this whirling sensation.




omf.

nb, just now typed something and i dont know wtf i've pressed and everything's gone!
anyway, lets just summarise my long wk end..


`thurs was fun but seriously tiring
`friday out with my guys fer lunch and dinner and went home
`today the gers have their haircut, was resisting the urge to cut
`tmr movie! (its really been ages since i last caught a movie man)
`RUNNING LATER (finally!!!!)
`brand new week, finish up my shit
`somehow detest audit people but yeah zz




boring..
btw, days back i posted a bulletine coz my frd sorta wanna delete me if i dont.
she just wanna see how many people care. (uh.. yes. right. dumbbbb)
and so i posted.
using frdster fer coming THREE years, i've never posted any bulletine before..
and i did, coz of a frd. the context was something like asking another to cut and paste with the heading, "bye frdster.."
so i added this short text with the bulletine (i dowanna get deleted)
and i put the title as.. "bye frdster.. yawns"
i was thinking that people on my list aint that zz and zz enough to post that bulletine.
but i saw someone posted.
dno why, we dont really have MUCH common frds. but i feel dumb.
dumb fer that frd too. i know that the frd dont wish to get deleted..
then agn, think back, i dont really care who delete or add me.
(then agn, it depends, selective)
zzz.



the best way to spend a sat afternoon is to be in a salon and zzz the whole day away.
after which go fer a run, go home and die..
YES!

i must really complain about today.
last night insomnia. i forgot what time i slept.
TIRING.
today lunch with an idiot.
really he's an fcking idiot.
but cuteee!
LOL.
just got home not long ago, chatting with my swts.
someone said that she's gonna turn PL.
note; PL!!
AHAHAHAHA. tsktsk.
loveee you still man.




ANW BACK TO WORK.
fck! today was so busy with some client that i was so famished and my stomach was growling like SHIT. zzz office gossipers ought to die!
whats wrong with having lunch man?
zzzzz.
super turn off.
sigh.
im going off to have my dinner before it becomes supper.
miss my bitchers!

i lovee my bitchers.
hope that you've had fun.
and nope. you aint screwed.
be good!
much love.
wanna blog abt last night but..
decided not to.
hahahha.

my entries are very random.
one liner (according to a frd) mainly coz i got tons to write but i know that it wont be pleasing to everyone (or that minority lot) so its more like a theme.
hmm. if you get what im typing.



rmbered i used to attend church fer a period of time and got screwed by someone influencing.
"the truth is not out there, the truth is in your mind"

apparently, what that person is tryin to say is that, we dont go chasing something that doesnt exist, and thinking that it exists coz others say so.


and obviously, if you make a lie, be it a white lie not, it will become the truth if you keep thinking it is.
self psycho i guess. but if you cant even psycho yourself well, dont dream of psychoing the others.



i dont want to touch on this topic anymore. its getting quite annoying.
i'm heading to bed to meet my love.