give me a reason why i should NOT mock at you.
give me a reason why i should spare a thought for your pathetic feelings all these while.
give me a reason to retain my respect for you.
give me a reason to NOT feel disappointed.




JUST GIVE ME A REASON WHY AREN'T YOUR BRAINS IN PLACE?
you are turning twenty one this year.
you have been like that since sixteen.
i do not see any changes in you since then till now.
perhaps you're getting stupidier.. due to those clubbing mates or weirdo/fake players friends you mix with.
i only see you getting more desperado.
from wanting L to J.
you sleep around, it doesnt matter if you choose properly.
THEN AGAIN, YOU ARE TOO DESPERATE TO THINK OF THAT.
when lust overwhelms you.. you become a TOTAL oxymoron.







any idea of how i felt?
really any idea?
i bet you don't and won't even care.
IF you are just any of my fcked up friends, you can fck around for all i care, and get aids and die unglamourous.
but you used to be the closest to me, in the clique.
tons had happened but we were still pretty close TILL you seriously over crossed my boundary.






know what?
i kept telling myself years back to have stupid people surrounding me.
the first way is to avoid them....
the best way and last alternative is..
FCK THEM OUTTA MY LIFE.
i hope that you understand.
you amazed me so much when you said that you wasted your youth when she was at your age.
PLEASE THINK ABOUT NOW.
i just don't want to say that you wasted my precious time on you.
BUT PLEASE REFLECT.
really just reflect.






if i were to fck around again, i am selective.
i do not fck anyone as they come by.
not because i don't wish to get AIDS.
IT IS JUST MERELY COZ I HAVE MUCH MORE BRAINS THAN YOU AND I PUT THEM INTO GOOD USE.
lastly, it also shows that if there is a choice of being judged and judging, i will, most probably, be judging.
you won't understand.
you will never understand.







goodbye you bitch.
i seriously don't wish to hear from you again.
delete me off from everything if you want to.
i only want friends who love themselves.
only they know what is best for them and do not disgrace themselves.
stupidity is incurable.
this has always been my belief for the past few years.
disappointed and sad, it has been proven right on you.

"Mad"

Oooo oooo oooo
Oooo oooo ummm

She's staring at me, I'm sitting wondering what she's thinking
Ummm Nobody's talking, cause' talking just turns into screaming (Oooo)
And now yes I'm yelling over her, she yelling over me,
all that that means is neither of us are listening,
and what's even worse, that we don't even remember why we're fighting

It's all for nothing (fighting for)
nothing, (crying for)
nothing, (oohh)

When we won't let it go for nothing, (come back for)
nothing,
it should be nothing
to a love like what we got oh baby

I know sometimes it's gonna rain,
But baby can we make up now
cause' I can't sleep through the pain (can't sleep through the pain)
girl I don't want to go to bed, mad at you
and I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me
no I don't want to go to bed mad at you
and I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me (oh noo)

Umm
and it gets me upset girl when you're constantly accusing
(asking questions like you already know)
hey we're fighting this war when both of us are losing
(this ain't the way that love is supposed to go, what happened to working it out?)
We fall into this place where you ain't backing down, and I ain't backing down,
so what the hell do we do now?

It's all for nothing (fighting for)
nothing, (crying for)
nothing... (oohh)

When we won't let it go for nothing,
nothing,
it should be nothing
to a love like what we got oh baby

I know sometimes it's gonna rain,
But baby can we make up now
cause' I can't sleep through the pain (can't sleep through the pain)
girl I don't want to go to bed mad at you
and I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me
no I don't want to go to bed mad at you
and I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me (oh noo)

Oh baby this love ain't gone be perfect, (perfect perfect oh no)
And just how good it's gonna be
We can fuss and we can fight long as everything is alright between us before we go to sleep...

Baby we're gonna be...

Yah.... Baby....

ohhhh....ohhhh

I know sometimes it's gonna rain,
But baby can we make up now
cause' I can't sleep through the pain (can't sleep through the pain)
girl I don't want to go to bed mad at you
and I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me
no I don't want to go to bed mad at you
and I don't want you to go to bed, mad at me (oh noo, nooo, noo)

8 april 2009;

i finally got the first qwerty phone in my whole holy almost 23 years of life!
okay, the contacts are screwed and thank god i do remember certain numbers..
hee.



meeting a new bunch of bitchers tomorrow!
and one of them seriously do irriates me so much that i feel like skinning him alive for good.



LOL.
shakes head.




long weekend and happy birthday to me!!!! (soon)
i miss a few.

i am back, late but better than never.
last night someone sent me an email, i replied.
obvious enough, that someone could not accept what i said about the friend part.
all in all, i have said all i needed and wanted to.
the rest is up to you.
but do remember that if ever a day i really wish to cut off contact with you, please note that this is the only alternative that is best for us..





when i needed a friend, the friend is there.
when the friend needs me, i hope to be there.
give and take.
i do not give overly; neither do i take in too much.
for friends who like me and i have no feelings for them, it'll be better for us NOT to be friends coz i don't wish to make use of that friendly unknowingly or knowingly.
ALSO, i have no wish to add on another sin onto my list of existing sins, afterall, i AM already a grave sinner.

topic of the day;


a friend with no strings attached, would you?
how do you view this question?


as tommorrow i will be having dinner with b, i might be blogging about it if i am online.

okay, mama is in hospital.
and for some reasons... i thought that she's working in ICA.
till today i got screwed.
work has been quite.. okay, very hectic.
but overall.
time flies.





happy birthday to me soon!
zzz..