i feel like a god man.
i doubt that anyone can still be like me and keep my cool after despite all.
but i exploded anyway. just that its internally.


stupid bank officer vs stupid incharge = waste of my resources.

fcking hell.
i will remember by heart, by hard.


...
too agonized that i am now depressed.
gosh.

its chinese new year after all.
lesser and lesser clubbings. after all i've got no time to really rest.
past few days were quite a blast. thought i didnt participate in the mahjong sessions..



i am so tired.
who isn't?

i'm on my way to hell.
but oh well, it feels worse than hell.

can it be april soon?
please please pretty please?



i wanna learn freehand!
and perhaps illustrator.

are you that kinda peeps who can work under stress?
or are you that kinda who'll fall sick every now and then?


every morning i woke up, feeling moronic, LAZY and struggling with my inner self.
i still DRAG myself to work.



at least i seriously do know how to deal with political bitches in my dept.
one day i will burn that bitch i fcking swear.



the bad past just dont last.
the present that comes with the tension.
the unpredictable future.



your choice.
whatever choice you make.. dont ever look back.

when i say that i care. i really mean that i care.
please dont ever doubt me.



on top of it. i aint fooling around.
so.. no more mind games please.



seriously dont like the feeling of wanting something so bad.
but yet its unreachable.
oh wtf!



enough said.

depressed. rather.
no idea why too.




its this fcking stupid ass!
(that is me.)

The Anxiety of the Atheists -

According to some articles :-

CHICAGO: One of the surest ways to bring a certain type of dinner party to a halt is to speak piously about God. Earnest reference to sinners, apostates or blasphemers, or to the promise of salvation offered in evangelical churches, is likely to produce the same effect.

Among the cosmopolites who live in secular enclaves, religion is automatically associated with darkness, superstition, irrationality and an antique or pre- modern cast of mind. It has long been assumed that religion is opposed to science, reason and human progress; and the death of gods is simply taken for granted as a deeply ingrained Darwinian article of faith.

Why, then, are the enlightened so conspicuously up in arms these days, reiterating every possible argument against the existence of God? Why are they indulging in books - Daniel Dennett's "Breaking the Spell," Sam Harris' "Letter to a Christian Nation," and Richard Dawkins's "God Delusion" - in which authors lampoon religion under the banner of a crusading atheism?

The most obvious answer is that the armies of disbelief have been provoked. Articulate secularists may be merely reacting to the many recent incitements from religious zealots, as fanatics and infidels have their ways of keeping each other in business.

A deeper and far more unsettling answer, however, is that the popularity of the current counterattack on religion cloaks a renewed and intense anxiety within secular society that it is not the story of religion but rather the story of the Enlightenment that may be more illusory than real.

The Enlightenment story has its own version of Genesis, and the themes are well known: The world woke up from the slumber of the "dark ages," finally got in touch with the truth and became good about 300 years ago in Northern and Western Europe.

As people opened their eyes, religion (equated with ignorance and superstition) gave way to science (equated with fact and reason). Parochialism and tribal allegiances gave way to ecumenism, cosmopolitanism and individualism. Top-down command systems gave way to the separation of church from state, of politics from science. The story provides a blueprint for how to remake and better the world in the image and interests of the West's secular elites.

Unfortunately, as a theory of history, that story has had a predictive utility of approximately zero. At the turn of the millennium it was pretty hard not to notice that the 20th century was probably the worst one yet, and that the big causes of all the death and destruction had little to do with religion. Much to everyone's surprise, that great dance on the Berlin Wall back in 1989 turned out not to be the apotheosis of the Enlightenment.

Science has not replaced religion; group loyalties have intensified, not eroded. The collapse of the Cold War's balance of power has not resulted in the end of collective faiths or a rush to democracy and individualism. In Iraq, the "West is best" default (and its discourse about universal human rights) has provided a foundation for chaos.

Even some children within the enclave are retreating from the Enlightenment in their quest for a spiritual revival; one discovers perfectly rational and devout Jews or Hindus in one's own family, or living down the block. If religion is a delusion, it is a delusion with a future, which it may be hazardous for us to deny. A shared conception of the soul, the sacred and transcendental values may be a prerequisite for any viable society.

John Locke, who was almost everyone's favorite political philosopher at the time of the founding of the United States, was a very tolerant man. In his 1689 "Letter Concerning Toleration," he advocated a policy of live and let live for believers in many faiths, even heretics. But he drew the line at atheists. He wrote: "Lastly, those are not at all to be tolerated who deny the being of God. Promises, covenants and oaths, which are the bonds of human societies, can have no hold upon an atheist. The taking away of God, though but even in thought, dissolves all."

Instead of waging intellectual battles over the existence of god(s), those of us who live in secular society might profit by being slower to judge others and by trying very hard to understand how it is possible for John Locke and our many atheist friends to continue to gaze at each other in such a state of mutual misunderstanding.

Richard A. Shweder is a professor of comparative human development at the University of Chicago and a co-editor of "Engaging Cultural Differences."

lunch with the new ger, sl and at.
dont know why, its been rather long since i last dozed off at work.
the pros and cons about clearing up your work on time.



=( I AM SO DAMN SLEEPY.

back to work. kinda lost my momentum.
was packing the stuff.. then it got so dusty that my nose got highly irritated and blasted.
BAD BAD FLU.


it was worse after lunch. i was literally tearing.
decided to go and see a doctor. spent like 2hours there, just the waiting time to register have already taken an hour...
GOSH.


i shall go and get ready for work tmr.
btw, there's this new ger at work.
first look, pretty good, tall, quite a nice figure.
second look, i'm beginning to doubt my taste.
LOL.

i heard that things happened last night but i don't really have an exact idea of what it is.


anyway, i had lunch with jovi.
town, towned. hahahaha.
lunch-ed, shopped and i died.


went home to crash. was feeling very good.
halfway thru, some asshole called. zzz.
didnt know what can be used to describer her anymore..



above all, realised that i am still growing up. when will i stop?
AND YES, I DREAD FLU!!!!!!


=(
happy wk end!

GOSH! ice is asking me not to despise him. according to him, he is a good drinker. hmm..
current location : ice's place.


ice, joey and i.
we made cocktails. and apparently, we are high on cocktails!! -.-
he is having hiccups while i am pretty high on the drinks.
stupid joey went to puke, when she is drinking so little.
HMM. whats wrong man?!



ice went nuts. he was performing some stunts. with his chair and all.
maybe we shouldnt drink that much. he's still having hiccups. while i am still high on the amount taken in.



only the both of us are high, thats a very sad thing, coz joey is a lousy drinker!!!!
she went to puke.. sad.
dint managed to have a good countdown, so i am making up fer it.
YAY, sudden crash for cocktails. its nice when you mix it on your own.
ignore this entry, it was typed during the time when i am high.




have a fruitful 2007.
=)

time really flies. damn it, its 2007 now. recalled that sometime of the year i stumbled upon some horoscope site and it said that once i'm in 2007 and i think back, i should be able to see the major changes.



so.. lets have a short summary :-

peeps who made me feel like shit, please identify yourselves.
i didnt blame anyone, but anyhow, i think none will actually enjoy the feeling of being misunderstood.
there is quite a huge pile of misunderstandings btw me and them.
i was hoping to clear them up, but i know that its somehow impossible.
no matter how much i wish to explain, the frequency is just never there.
but thinking back, touch your heart and ask yourselves why the fck do i bothered so much till i got fcked up and very much affected.
then again, its alright.


and of coz, every year, i never seemed to NOT let anyone down, last year was no exception. been though the up-to-date worst incident ever.
but im just too glad that its over.
later part of the year i did some nonsensical shit again.
yeah. i made my mom cried and all. she made me felt like a fcking burden and i dont know whats else and whats new?



but i got to know cool frds. really nice frds.
so nice that i really feel so touched.
so nice that i thought about my frdships with other frds.
and at times i got quite turned off by that thought, honestly.
sigh. (frds come and go. i must really accept that fact, no matter how much i fcking wish fer them to stay..)



and the year ended on quite a good note.
everything (minus the first part that i have mentioned above) seemed to resolve, one way or another.
=)


was hoping to bitch more, like how i used to, with roy and etc. but i've been burnt recently, i just want a good long rest.


be back soon. hopefully, meanwhile, i will go and brush up on my sarcasm.
haha.
not really sarcasm, just words of reality.
hope that everyone have got a good start, for a brand new year.



*brand new year, brand new me

hope that everyone had a wonderful xmas.
mine was xmas, not really a merry one.



blink of eye, another year passed.
i gained and lost something.
good or bad, its up to me to decide.




insomnia. dont ask me why.
and recently i have been having this weird weird accent.



but joy said that i was still the same.
good and bad.
i learnt, i grew up.


AND YES.
BEING LOGICAL DOESNT MEAN THAT I AM ALWAYS RIGHT.
PLEASE FUCKING GET THAT CLEAR.

today is 14 November 2006.
pb turned 19 today!
Happy Birthday!!
be happy!!


Recently, i just joined this game.
it consists of several characters.
interesting, damn it. my old habit relapsed.

its been hectic fer everyone.

any new songs?

Watch my life,
Pass me by,
In the rear view mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

Yeah...

[Chorus]
Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

I've been dying inside,
Little by little,
No where to go,
But going out of my mind
In endless circles,
Running from my self until,
You gave me a reason for standing still

[Chorus]

It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,
Give me something,
To believe in
Tell me: It's not all in my head

Take what's left
Of this man
Make me whole
Once again

[Chorus]

I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
Just running in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?

anyone heard of this english song?


you can take whats left of me.
something something like that..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR DEAREST DINE DINE!
love love!
=D


and to my bitchers.
we love one another.
=)


thats more than enough.
self praise or whatsoever you like to call.



its been a nice week, though stressful..
it quite alot of realization..
not everyone knows.
but i got them figured out.