till the break of dawn;
to me, ego trip is a trip of my ego taken alone.
it is being nonchalant and oblivious to everything surrounding me.
years back, i made this decision to try it once.
somewhat i got used to it. it moulded me into someone that i would not want to be.
years later, i blended back into the humane environment..
but it seriously do hurt.
especially when i got into troubles that i can't solve.



back then, there wasn't any problem that i couldn't solve.
i mean..
being me for me.
yours ever truly trouble getter;
i always get into other people troubles.
one prominent one is the ever oh so classic "friend" who is a mother of a child now.
if you get it, you get it.. if you don't. be glad.
for that few years, my life was on a highway.
it was a highway to hell.



2006-2007 first half of the year, my work was on a highway to hell.
busy, hectic, busy hectic.
second half, i was busy looking for a comfort zone.



i failed terribly.
floated.
floated.
floated.
floated.




now.. i am not lost.
but neither am i very happy.
perhaps once the feeling is lost, it can never be recovered.
it is just like love....
but love is different. if it is really love, it should not fade in the first place.
even if alot had happened, the love will still be there..





love is.. when i do not need to take an ego trip ever again.