BP paper was..
okay, put it simply.
GOD BLESS ME.

last night someone made me quite mad.
then again, i guessed that it was me who thinks too much..
i thought that the someone would get hurt by what i said.
seriously..
let things remain like that.




IF everything must be said out and then you'll stop your nonsense.
then i am afraid that i might seriously have to say it out.
my gf dont even draw on my hand when she is bored.
not to mention, any of my ex.
if such a simple thing and yet i have to say it out.
be it you are a person that will only stop your nonsense only after others have opened their mouths..
okay, i seriously got nothing to say.




for me, my words are irritating.
but i will not stop IF they deserved to be what i have described about them.
perhaps you won't get it now.
neither will you get it in future.
all in all.
whatever tiny little interest or what.
everything stops here and then.
as a friend or not.
the incident kept replaying on my mind.
EVEN MY FRIEND DO NOT DO THAT TO ME.





put it this way, we just have different moral values.
it is something like..
you are making use of someone just because that someone likes you. to me i seriously think that you're shit.
you only hang around with better people to show that you're better.
you do not hang out with stupid people to make yourself shine.
in this case, even if you are out with another group of BETTER people.
it will never make you shine.




kinda disappointing. for your age, your mentality doesn't fit.
remember why you kept asking me why you are single?
given your qualities, you can seriously get any girls you want.
but i've forgotten to add on that.
those girls will never last long with you.
you have the ability to make people stray from their partners..
at the same time, make your own gf stray away from you.
obviously, if your partner truly knows what she wants and she is not some type of shit as you.
hur...




above are just my seriously humble opinion.




three years back i had a friend who behaved like you.
this is not cute. this is crap.
three years later, i do not need someone who is like her and add more colours into my life.
after all, my life has been colourful before and is still colourful now, it's just another type of colour that i've been searching for.
for my age, i have found it.
lastly..
you won't ever be a threat to my partner and relationship anymore.






after all been said and done.
i won't be responsible towards you anymore.
put it crudely..
IF you see a need to disturb/flirt and be overly nice..
no one will be responsible if you get played out.

HELLO.
yes.. no doubt. i'm still awake.
it's gonna be the time that i wake up soon.
for the next few days it will be the time i go to bed.
I REALLY HATE EXAMS.



i met someone today.
i thought that it'll be better if i didn't meet her.
i guess that it's for the better.
she's just ain't my cup of tea.
i still prefer my cup of coffee.



i'm withering..
i am going to smoke (again)!

i browsed through my previous private blog. okay, i do type alot.
those were the phrases that described how i felt back then, when shit happens and all.
for some reasons, mama fell into the endless cycle of her past and she couldn't sleep but halfway thru the msg, she didnt replied so i reckoned that she died off too.





my humble point of view, it's always humans nature to look back (and regret) the past. dwelling in it ain't gonna do you any good.
let those past be glamorous or not, IT IS ALL IN THE PAST.
if you find that you were dumb in the past and you only realised it now, seriously, you ain't that dumb.
if you find that certain stupid people ain't worthy of keeping and NOW or last year they were already off your list.. it shows that you're still savable.





ultimate stupidity is incurable. it's a fact and it's been proven.
that is why they have entry requirements for schools like university and even polytechnics.
for me, i am stupid in maths, no doubt, but when it comes to other aspect. i don't think that i am, coz i did not get myself into alot of troubles then and now.




so... be glad of your past.
perhaps we hold different definitions and objectives. lastly, the way we handle things are different. all in all, what's past is past, you shouldn't even be thinking about it.
you're smarter than (we know who), so please, do not give me that feeling that at that point of time of deciding, you should have seen what comes after.





after all, life is a bitch, that comes with a package of shit.
okay, that rhymes, though i didn't mean it.





an abrupt farewell, i'm going back to rape my books.

jusqu'à l'aube, je vais vous tenir serré et de ne jamais vous laisser aller.

i wonder who will i really say this to.


for work.. i really hate idiots who sing.
IT'S LIKE HELLO I AM SO BUSY HERE THEN YOU WANT TO SING WHAT SONGS?!
i wish that uncle can just bang himself against the wall.
oh oh.
he is blissfully married.......
but he has a Vietnamese mistress.
SERIOUSLY.. WTF IS WRONG WITH SUCH PEOPLE.



stupidité est incurable; la réalité fait mal.
i reckoned that is how fragile humans can be.

today was a super duper busy day at work for me.
not forgetting, it was nic's wifey's big day!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!




okay, work was seriously so hectic till.. let's skip this part.
i ended work at almost 7, i was so smart to leave my umbrella in office and i needed to get it back.. it rained after lunch on my way back and if i dont get it back, it'll stink big time seriously.



imagine that i'm going to be away for almost a week.
so went back to get my dumbo umbrella.
met parents and we headed out to get dad's specs.




hungry and tired..
want to kill people.
but i managed to rush home and caught the last episode of the stupid show.

if anyone watch pefect cut 2..
seriously, kelly is a slut.
-.-''
if that guy wishes to give out his unfinished love..
IS IT A MUST TO TAKE IT?
god, such women deserved to be fcked till the end of the world by many guys.
perhaps by a guy who is AIDS positive.




SOMEONE, PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME.
you may say that it is just a show.
APPARENTLY, REALITY HURTS, IN THIS WORLD, YOU KNOW, WHOLE WIDE WORLD, THERE ARE JUST SUCH PEOPLE.




omfg.
can't blame me for being so.....
okay, forget it.

getting lazier to blog...
here's a recap:


a week back, i met up with mama, kinky boy decided to abandon us for another guy.. tsk. unexpectedly, he was free much earlier. i think that mama was deprived of sleep, we met for lunch, after which, she went home to rest. the day before i met mama, i bought crystal bracelet and a crystal pendant for b and myself.



weekdays = work = tiring



today, was out in town, almost spent 400 on a nylon material Burberry bag.
i wondered when can i seriously learn to be more thrifty.
okay.. exams coming.
seriously need to eat those papers again.
bless me.

to a friend of mine:

perhaps you might not even get to see this.
but i just want to tell you this.
be strong, don't let a wimp bring you down, for you deserve so much better than IT.
if you need to be back to who you are, be so, coz end of the day, you just need to be accountable to yourself.



this is something that i used to share with my bitchers.
though they might be leading their own lives now and i had almost turned them to be players.
they were what others said to be:
majorly screwed.. but they know what they are doing.
they know of their worthiness.
lastly..
they are accountable to themselves.



lastly, be happy.
perhaps it might sound selfish to others, but as my friend, i hope for the best of you. if i have to choose for either one to be hurt, i would rather it be the one who is in the game with you.




life is full of shit.
don't be filled with it.
lastly.. i have said this many times before..
stupidity is incurable.



love,
xx

to err is human, to forgive divine.



it's sucha holy idiom.
apparently, it became a perfect idiom for idiots to abuse.



to err is human, but that doesnt give you a reason to err more.
this is going out to all those idiots who think that they are overly smart.
this is also going out to those fckers who think that they are god.



coz in my eyes, there is no human who can be god.
no matter how rich you are.. there will be a day whereby you will go home with the lord.
no offence to christians... but..



NO GOD, ONLY DOG IN MY LIFE.

okay, firstly, not much people can seriously really get on my nerves like that.
they are either overly-smart with overwhelming wits OR they do not even have the slightest and basic wits.
which is which, you decide.



i received a call on saturday afternoon, i missed it coz i was out, getting my food.
it was a call to ask me to meet.
from my vague memory, i recalled that perhaps out of 10 times, there were at least 5 times that i met that arse.



perhaps people might not know..
it has really been god know how long since i had family reunion with mama and kinky.
my side tons had happened and i was busy with work and school.
i know that they are busy too.
THAT IS WHY I GET EVEN MORE IRRITATED WHEN SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT SOMEONE CAN'T JOIN US LATER.




reason being:
let's call the either overly-smart or stupid friend A.
A knows this guy for a year but they have never meet. according to A, that guy owes A both present and movie and he is always too busy to meet A.



SIMPLE AS THAT.
i text A kinda late last night, i was confirming the time with mama.
okay.. this is what i got back.
A has always been known for being an emo kid.
no one could tell me about it, not even A him/herself.
i am NOT gonna disclose who A is.
it should be a piece of shit for people who know to guess it.



i text A this:-


you best.. for a guy, for a present. then again, it's you, so i got nothing to say. enjoy yourself and get ditched again.


A replied:-


he is not my type.. tsk tsk.. pls.. if he is my type i long ago meet him already right? sigh.



A, i don't know if you'll be reading this.
but if you were, let me tell you this..
i cannot ASSUME THAT YOU DON'T LIKE THIS NEW GUY.
you use your brains and think about it.
how many zillion guys you have liked before?
which of them you always said that you are serious with them?




and you seriously resemble of the stupidest girl that i used to know.
among all idiots, you chose to resemble her.
WTF.
this is not a sad case.
THIS IS DEFINITELY A HOPELESS CASE.

for many reasons.. i just cannot find a reason for human to be so stupid.
seriously.. i believe in human rights.
that includes blogging whatever the owner feels like.
as long as it ain't political or offends the government.



as long as no name is stated, it is not really aiming at that particular someone, unless that particular someone thinks that it's that person.



hmm..
okay, i'm trying to talk to myself nicely..
and mama was using her colourful adjectives nicely on the phone.
then again, there is only one such type of person that deserves her colourful adjectives.



needless to say, everyone knows who that person is.
tsk.
sad case.

to cousin, his wifey, AV and prince of VANITY,



i'm so sorry about the delay to link the great blogs of yours, know me for me, i'm just.. too lazy.. (mainly) and i'm very much busy with my new job and lastly, i'm contemplating if i should register a business under my name.



too much research for me to do.
family + gf + studies and now.. + a lot more things to do.




and yes kinky boy, i'm sorry for not being able to meet you and mama as well.
TGIF!
it's friday and i'll be having night classes later.
HOW NICE YEAH?

mama told me that the game is on.
sit back and relax.

till the break of dawn;
to me, ego trip is a trip of my ego taken alone.
it is being nonchalant and oblivious to everything surrounding me.
years back, i made this decision to try it once.
somewhat i got used to it. it moulded me into someone that i would not want to be.
years later, i blended back into the humane environment..
but it seriously do hurt.
especially when i got into troubles that i can't solve.



back then, there wasn't any problem that i couldn't solve.
i mean..
being me for me.
yours ever truly trouble getter;
i always get into other people troubles.
one prominent one is the ever oh so classic "friend" who is a mother of a child now.
if you get it, you get it.. if you don't. be glad.
for that few years, my life was on a highway.
it was a highway to hell.



2006-2007 first half of the year, my work was on a highway to hell.
busy, hectic, busy hectic.
second half, i was busy looking for a comfort zone.



i failed terribly.
floated.
floated.
floated.
floated.




now.. i am not lost.
but neither am i very happy.
perhaps once the feeling is lost, it can never be recovered.
it is just like love....
but love is different. if it is really love, it should not fade in the first place.
even if alot had happened, the love will still be there..





love is.. when i do not need to take an ego trip ever again.

too intense to verbalise.
someone please tell me about it.

well trouble strikes.
it comes as a whole.
sometimes they are just too much to take..

hello. text or call me soon.
we need to meet.
:)

i dont hate my work for now.. which is quite a big improvement.
however, there is still room for it.
i hate the people there.
especially that bitch, she's fcking political.




bitch, if i were to play.
it'll be MY game.
knowing me for me.
;)
try me.

fcking shit.
it's gonna be friday, finally!!!
work has been so hectic, whenever after i bathed, i have to pop in two pills.
zzz.