I AM BACK TO WORK!
after one day of aching and etc.





lets fucking talk about work.
i was late, despite the fact that i slept early.
OUTTA POINT.
saw my new colleague.
and she smells of some perfume.
think that she sprayed too much.
let me intro my NEW colleague,
JOANNE.
married, with two kids.
quite a nice colleague.
fake laughter my boss said..
but i'm just too used to doing things ALONE.
though i can be grumpy about getting no help back then.
but things always seemed so much easier when i am doing them ALONE.





busy day at work, got quite fucked up but still alright..
and yes she asked fer my no.
CAN I NOT GIVE HER?
i cant. so there am i, having the first ZZZ name in my phonebook.
OMF.
yes. quite paranoid.. dont know why she seems pretty nice..
BUT YES i just get fucking turned off by myself.
anyone knows how i feel?
i hate myself, hate my feelings......





i used to hate bsb fer the past 19 yrs of my life..
i never like them no matter how nice their songs can be.
and yes one of my frds.. who used to be fucking close to me, loves bsb like fuck.
whenever she plays their song.
i will be like OH ITS THE backSIDE boys!
-.-''
never did i know that. 19yrs later, I ACUTALLY SUCCUMB TO LISTEN TO THEIR SONGS!
OMF.
think that i'm more emotional now.
my emotions.. in a way, more enriched by my surroundings and happenings,
in a way.. good, coz i'm just a fucking human after all.
in a way.. bad. i just dont like the changes in me.
MORE EMOTIONAL AND ALL.
meaning, will not be as impartial as before.
OH.





have you had any idea how much i just fucking hate myself?
i wont be surprised if you hate me too..
and i fear that you'll get someone new?
coz you'll find us stale, find me boring.
do you know all these?
and knowing that i wont get to see you often..
do you know how i really feel deep down..




the wound fucking hurts.
the wound i've inflicted on myself.
mentally.