life's like this.
no matter how much we loathe being in this world,
still life goes on.
afterall, we're already here?
and to people out there who's of my age.
YOU STILL GOT A LONG WAY TO GO.
if you're killed by yourself, (your feelings, your ironic actions, etc etc)
and you died in your own inferiority..
i think that its amusing.
amazing at the same time. you can actually lost control of your thoughts.
certain thoughts and actions could be suppressed i thought.
i know that suppressing is not a good and ideal way, but still..
its acceptable to me, depending on the matter(s).






i wouldnt admit that fer the past few days i was having problems with my feelings.
the feelings were just so overwhelming that i feel like killing everyone but myself.
borrowed a book today, i forgot whats the title but its by anne rice.
lestat, he thinks that he's always right, despite his sins. (shan't elaborate)
i read up till there.




i thought alot somehow.
hmm..
still trying very hard to control my thoughts and feelings.
afterall i am logical.
especially when it comes to solving shit.
i wouldnt tell others what i dont normally do,
coz they're not proven to be possible.
i thought so.
i still believe in taking charge of the situation.
and the sudden change of line..
me, selling anything sell-able, makes me feel like i'm currently selling myself to my employer, just to fuckin get a new job.






strong sense of disapproval.
but yet, the strong urge to change my life.
the desperation to get outta this sales line.
people always tell me that;
ADMIN IS VERY EASY TO FIND, UNLIKE SALES/OTHERS.
like real!




angelia replied saying that she is sick of selling her life away.
but i ask, in this world, who is not a slave fer money and i dont know what and perhaps fame?
zzz.
i know that i dont belong to that lucky minority lot that can persue their interest as careers.
i belong to the majority lot who happens to slog fer money, fer a better living.
all these, i know it deep down. and i gotta accept them!
knowing what you want in life is just a way to live your life easier..
but then again, working too hard fer it, doesnt mean that you gotta acheive it through underground methods or even to the extent of selling your pride, dignity etc.
i dont know wtf i'm typing already.




too saturated.
but i have no wish to talk about heart affairs.
and certain things i want to get them done by the next few months.
and i would never wanna do things that make people or even myself lose every single bit of basic respect that mankind have fer each other.
fuckk.





if i'm sleeping, its time to wake up.
if i'm logical, its time to get things done.